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[Table] IAmA: We are Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time, and we are back. Ask us anything!

2014.04.01 20:47 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: We are Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time, and we are back. Ask us anything!

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Date: 2014-04-01
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How hard is it to be a Viking? Not at all, unless you're a bitch / Niclas.
How is Mr. Fox these days? Who knows... That slippery bastard...
What are your jobs, guys? Niclas - Executive producer at a media company in Stockholm.
Niklas - Project and quality assurance manager at a web agency in Stockholm.
Isak - iOS developer at a mobile agency in Stockholm.
Anders - Freelancing production artist.
Tom - Web developer at a newspaper in Skellefteå.
Given all I know about Swedish cuisine I learned at the food court at Ikea, just how authentic are your dishes? Pretty damn authentic. IKEA doesnt add the extra flavour of raw power. // Niclas.
Why did you stop with the videos for so long? Was it school or something else? This is the reason: Link to
I cannot wait for Sink-o-de-Mayo! Lo siento!
I know that ROSMT started out as a way of poking gentle fun at EMT. Are those guys aware of your presence? Is there any possibility of a crossover now that you have a more solid schedule and greater resources to work with? Yes, and yes! // Niclas.
Why did you stop with the videos without saying anything to your fans? We thought you were dead! We were intimidated, I guess, from not really knowing what to do. We wanted to make more videos, but found it hard to make time and pull everything together in order to make something we could stand behind and deliver for you. We thought about quitting all together, but on some level did not really want to. In the end, we went for the high road: Beginning making videos again! Its good for you! / Niclas.
What is the difference between Swedish meal time and Norwegian meal time? One of them is good for you. // Niclas.
How long does it take you to clean up your kitchen after the filming is done? We do it as we go, sometimes after each take and sometime after several takes. All in all, a single episode, in the new kitchen, took us around 3-4 hours. / Niclas.
What about the ingredients, you seem to pulverize them at every step and yet the final results are very presentable and tasty ( you do eat them at the end :D); do you scrape them off the kitchen walls or do you just get 3 times more than you would normally use? Sometimes we scrape, sometimes we can't scrape so we have to add more :P.
Are you Married? i've seen the ring in the video. I'm engaged. Hopefully soon married! I love my swedish lady. // Niclas.
Do you genuinely enjoy eating mayonaise from a jar, or is it part of an act? It's totally great / Niclas.
How many of you have actual cooking experience? Apart from what you do on the show? Niklas (the beardless) are quite good in the kitchen! So is Tom! / Niclas.
Awesome. However I doubt anybody can hacka the löken better than you can. : Niklas.
Did you guys ever get complaints from the noise of angrily yelling at your food? How much food actually gets treated like a Swedish lady? Tack så mycket, glad you guys are returning! Actually I think we all enjoyed the new episode we haven't released yet. Mainly because this time all five guys were gathered in the same kitchen during recording - Yes - No - Moosemeat, that is all.
Thank you for doing this AMA! My daughter and I are big fans. Do you have a favorite video? <3 Personally, I really like Fishdicks and Breakfast. Also the Christmas table and Stickycake is great. I also love the Thinbread-rolls one. Stay Swedish my friend! / Niclas.
Thanks for adding fishdicks to my vocabulary! You should thank Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
When will you battle with your originators, the EMT gang? Some of us unworthy dregs would like to see such carnage! It must happen. // Niclas.
How do I become a professional swede? By being told what to do by a Swedish Lady. Correct.
How to potatis? Niklas.
Little do you suspect, but I already have one of those! She lets me out of the bed sometimes. This means I am now a professional Swede! Congratulations!
What's your weirdest experience with a fan? I once had a weird experience with the ceiling fan in my bedroom... / Isak.
Isak go home you're drunk!
This one guy recognized me and went up like 5 cm from my face and talked to me. I had to push him away and ask him to back off. He wasnt mad or overly excited or anything. Just VERY "close" to me. And quiet. It was weird // Niclas.
How long can we expect this run of the series to go on for? Originally you guys had to take a break for studies, but what does the future look like for ROSMT now? Now, we will push it until you guys hate it, or the world implodes. // Niclas.
Hello fellow swedes! I've been a fan for sometime now and my question is: how did this start? Cause I mean, it isn't like you wake up one day and say "I want to destroy kitchens and talk in swenglish, and YOU are going to film it!"...okay it COULD be like that...but still: how did this start? You pretty much had it right. Me (Niclas) and Isak woke up hungover in my student acomodation, and Isak wanted to do a video (inspired by EpicMealTime). Thats pretty much it! // Niclas.
What have you all been doing during this long hiatus? Are you back for good? I love your videos so much! For good, or until you guys thinks it gets booring or "the same" all over the time. We are definitely back. / Niclas.
Well EpicMealTime never got boring for a lot of people, and you guys are pretty unique so you have that going for you :) I'm sure as long as you don't get bored there will always be an audience! Heartwarming and true <3 // Niclas.
Is this an April Fools joke? If it is, may your mayonnaise forever be tainted with mould. Nope!
When will your first 'proper' video be coming? :) In 2 days!! Thursday evening, 18.00 CET!
What is your favorite meal? Blood and angst. // Niclas.
Alltså blodpalt? Spot on, my friend. Spot. On. // Niclas.
Have the series somehow changed your lives? Do you get recognized sometimes? It would be weird to say that ROSMT haven't changed our lives in some way as we've had some fun adventures together while recording the series, meeting people and getting to do stuff we otherwise wouldn't have done. Although we are still the same five guys who just love to record weird stuff and have fun. We are not openly recognised on the street although once in a blue moon someone will come up to us and say hey and give us some mayo :)
Vart handlar ni era matvaror? Ica, Willys eller kanske till och med LIDL? DAGS ATT GÅ PÅ ICA // Niclas.
Ni måste vara med i Ica-reklamen nån gång. Skulle vara ganska awsome! Dock så skulle inte en jävel fatta vad som pågick (because you guys, our real fans, are not watching TV4, after all) // Niclas.
When are you going to do an episode where you make mayonnaise?! Niklas.
If a dragon appears, do you slay it or give it mayo? Dragons are not real, dummy. Eat the mayo yourself. // Niclas.
Any more plans with Big Steve??? Would you consider working with him again? Definitely one of the few things that are in our pipe. Expect it. // Niclas.
Is there any possibility for a collaboration with Robbaz? Some sort of walrus viking dish? We'd love to put together any collaboration with fun YouTubers but at the moment we have a lot on our plate with the comeback and all. Hopefully in the future!
a lot on our plate. Heh. Lol, no pun intended!
Regular Ordinary Swedish Gaming Time? I think you'd be dissapointed as to how off-character I am when "not doing what we do". Also, I'm very competitive in gaming, I wouldnt have time to scream and smash stuff - I HAVE TO WIN // Niclas.
Did you make sure that the lax was gravad? I punched it into submission, so yes. / Niclas.
Bor ni kvar i umeå? Nope, 2 in Stockholm, 1 in Uppsala, 1 in Gävle and 1 in Skellefteå!
How long does it take you to plan, film and edit an episode of ROSMT? "Hard" production is approx 3-4 hours in the kitchen. Idea-process isnt really included, we improvise A LOT. We have some logistics that take a lot of time around these new episodes coming up, since we are doing them at a studio kitchen, sort of. / Niclas.
Hehe, does running to the store and buying more falukorv count as logistics? It's not quite that simple. We have a "portable" kitchen resource package (700 euros worth of standard kitchen equipment and furniture) that we need to move each recording session. Sausages, fine. Tables, not really. // Niclas.
Does Umeå have a good university? and is it a nice place to study? Yes we recommend it strongly! :)
When is the traveling US Tour coming up? We might pop over for a bit, but we'll be sure to let you guys know if we do!
Where does your aggression come from when you cook? My Swedish blood and heritage // Niclas.
What other hobbies besides cooking do you guys enjoy? I like gaming and drinking beer! And boardgaming. Check out /boardgames . Those guys are great! // Niclas.
Your beard is magnificent. Tips on growing it, and staying so damn beautiful? Eat more mayo. And possibly punch a few bears in the face. // Niclas.
What kind of satanic meals can we expect in the comeback? How many pots of mayonnaise have been consumed over the years? For starters, Lethal Lasagne and Killer Kalops! // Niclas.
Are you guys watching the history channel's Vikings? Some of us, yes.
Does anyone of you play Dota2 or CSGO? I love Dota 2 Link to / Niclas.
Will Mr. Fox be on the receiving end of that big ass axe? Hopefully someday! The slippery bastard...
What was your most enjoyed video making of rosmt series? I think that when I (Niclas) and Niklas made Deadly Thinbread Rolls in my accomodation during our later years of study, we hade tons of laughs. That was brilliant. // Niclas.
Whats your dream job and what do you think you will be doing in the next 10 years? Personally, I don't like to think about dreams and the future. Be happy with where you are (if its not total shit, then change something) and yourself. // Niclas.
What can I do that's good for me? Cook some food Swedish style, eat some mayo and take a bubble bath, just for you. XOXO.
Who inspired you to create this show? :) Mostly Epic Meal Time! <3 // Niclas.
Are you going to make more videos? YES! / Niclas.
Are there any plans to do videos with other youtube cookists? Like Harto or Epic Meal Time? It would indeed be quite awsome, but sadly, nothing in the pipe right now! // Niclas.
Can we expect any special quest in future? ( TotalBiscuit posted on twitter your special christmas episode, this is how i found about you guys. ) That would be very interesting! Totally up for it. / Niclas.
I'd completely forgotten about you guys and I'm so happy you're back! I'm from England but everyone I introduced to Smorgastorte loves it! Thanks, we're happy to be back! Well the problem with Surströmming is that the smell is very pungent and that's the thing with it. So if the audience can't smell it we loose a lot of the experience there. But we have thought about it now and again.
Would you guys ever do an episode with Surströmming? Niklas.
Can you guys do a learning Swenglish episode where you subtitle the Swedish words? We might, but could you handle it?
What took you so long? Mostly this: Link to
What did you all study in college? 3 of us went to Umeå University studying Digital media production. Isak took a longer course in iOS development, sort of. Tom studies programming, like Java and shit, fuck if I know :P Me and Niklas also have a masters degree in cross media interaction design. // Niclas.
What kind of music do you guys like? Glad you guys are back, loved your videos back when they first started coming out. Its very different depending on who you ask. Me personally, love all kinds of shit. Good songs is a better thing to go by than good artist. I mean, Queen aren't really on the list (they are too awsome, cant compare) and most bands have some/several awsome tracks, but often most shit is not interesting to me. I listen to everything from Dimmu Borgir, to Dashboard Confessional, to Bob Dylan, to Michael Jackson, to Dubmood and more and so on. // Niclas
Any Meshuggah or Opeth fans? I'm not sure. Opeth has some nice tracks // Niclas.
Thanks for doing this AMA! I've been patiently awaiting your regular return. Whose idea was it to do the whole mayo bit in every episode? Thanks for being here and thanks for waiting! Well Niclas was actually a bit hungry (and hungover) whilst making the first video and he simply needed some fat. Although as he ate the Mayo he thought that the Internetz might bring down the hate on him because he loves Mayo so he saved it with saying "It's good for you". As if that would have helped - but it did! and everyone liked it! So actually you guys came up with the slogan for us :) First episode, me and Isak in my student accomodation, hungover etc. We make the first episode, and I get hungry, mid-cooking. I eat a lot of mayo and butter, and think, as I am eating it, that the nerds and trolls on the internet will tease me for doing so. I proactively protect and defend myself by saying something sarcastic: "Its good for you!" and it simply caught on. I actually do love mayo. Its the best. // Niclas.
I've been waiting for your come back for the past two years! You guys are one of my favourite food channels on Youtube and I'm super stoked that you're back! Can you tell me if you're going to do similar things to what you did back in the day, or if you're going to do something a bit different? Hey thanks and it's good for you! We are totally going back to basics. You guys want mayo, violence and, thats what you'll get.
Can we expect some more "HACKA LÖKEN"? Also, whats the most unfortunate thing to have happened during filming the previous videos? Oh man. Yes. That is my answer. YES / Niclas.
Good to have you all back! Do you have any plans on changing the way the channel will run, or will it be the same format as before? Definitely changes. For now, we will release a regular cooking video every other week, and the weeks in between, a bloopebehind the scenes video. We will most likely also, during the "off weeks" deliver a timelapse from the recording session. Possibly something more, dont know yet! // Niclas.
Team - when will we see you on TV and DVD? YouTube is not enough to contain all that mayo goodness. (Seriously, do you have any plans to release your content in other media than YT?) 2) Probably not, its simply not made for broadcast. DVD? Man, get real, its 2014! :P.
If you could only have 1 thing to get through a cold Swedish winter night, would it be moose meat or a Swedish lady? I can have both! Don't tell me otherwise!
Why Mayonnaise? I mean, it is good for you and all, but what started the idea of a spoonful of it as the pre-dinner snack? Just taking feedback from the comments of the first video and adapting on it for the following videos. We just improvised and it latched on. // Niclas.
Did you make any money on your videos? Välkomna tillbaka grabbar! Have not in a long time. Now that we have started up again, we should see some ad-revenue roll in. Everything goes into more production. We're doing this for you guys, not for the cash! // Niclas.
The last time you did an AMA, you hinted at the possibility of doing a video with the Epic Meal Time guys. Is that still a thing, is it going to happen? Hey thanks, we're glad to be back! An Epic Meal Time colab. would be nice but as of today we do not have any official plans with them. We'll just have to wait and see! Mr. Fox is.. around.. Okay sure! :D.
That trailer is the first I've seen of your work but I must say I am intrigued. Is there... other food that you've smashed? Oh yeah, you've been missing out! // Niclas.
Are damages to kitchen and utensils cowered by insurance ? Nope, the King of Sweden covers us on such matters. Yeah we know, he's a slippery bastard!
But really, be cautious about Mr.Fox... Niklas.
Just wanted to say thanks for making such funny videos and inspiring me and my flatmates to spend a few hilarious hours making our spoofs! Thank you! Nice ones! Keep it up :) Thank you for watching!
Where do you keep your razors? I need them for no particular reason. We just use big ass knives and axes, sorry.
*big ass-knives // Niclas.
Has making ROSMT affected your lives in any way, be it now or before? Definitely, in many ways. It's crazy to be able to touch so many lives and feelings by doing something crazy and silly in the kitchen. For you guys, we were gone for 2 years, but in my head, one day did not pass with me not thinking about the channel and the subscribers. I just love you <3 // Niclas.
With eggs being a core ingredient of mayo, if I could humanely and safely breed horse sized chickens, do you think this would positively impact the worlds production of mayo or would society be too focused on the giant chicken and it's potential to become some kind of super predator? You don't make sense. Are you danish? // Niclas.
I'd say screw that! GIANT CHICKEN BOXING!
Does Niclas regularly find patches of mayo from earlier dinners in his beard? Niclas.
Why Mayo? Niclas likes it so damn much!
Omfg, what a question! // Niclas.
Have you physically injured yourself while smashing things? Some cuts and bruises here and there but nothing serious. Niclas has had to take some time-outs when the lemon juice in his eyes got to stingy though. :P.
Why did you ever stopped in the first place? Love. This: Link to
Got any good reindeer recipes? Renskavsgryta is great! // Niclas.
How much planning is involved in making an episode? Do you just make it up as you go or is everything carefully written? We plan a lot AROUND the episode, like times and breaks and how to get everything and everyone to the kitchen. But the things inside the episodes we mainly improvise :)
How much does the food used in an average ROSMT cost? Same as your average dinner, maybe 10% more. // Niclas.
Do the guys at Ica Maxi or Coop or whatever store you guys shop at know you well by now? Do you ever see any fans at these stores and get any questions? I used to live in Sweden and I remember celebrities would often shop for themselves at stores and people wouldn't disturb them! Back in the day, when we were making videos on a regular basis, I could hardly go to ICA without having someone giggle and ask me to scream. It was weird. // Niclas.
I love your culinary masterpieces! So emotional. And I'm glad you guys are back. We might have wink wink April 3rd wink wink
Have you ever considered to make an international cuisine season? Explore the recipes of the continent? Niklas.
What is your favorite meal from all of those that you have made on the show? Personally, it's probably Deadly Thinbread Rolls! // Niclas Edit: Damn, totally not this episode I meant. This one was awsome to record but it was not the best food. Best food was probably Christmas Table, Fiskdicks and the Meatloaf!
Do you have a favorite moment/scene? Mine would have to be either the drill as a mixer or you guys carrying Gameboyboy around yelling EAAAGLESSS. Yeah we've broken a few stuff, can't remember them all now :P Those are up there, we agree! But my personal favorite moment we're actually when we did a live show in Umeå in northern Sweden. it didn't come out on film as good as it was IRL, but there was a very palpable tension in the air when Niclas threw his first punch at the ingredients.
Did you guys draw the new logo? And. What kind of music do you listen? 1) A friend of ours did! 2) Everything that's good! Check these 2 out: Link to and Link to
Do you guys see Vikings from History Channel? No, vikings from the history channel see us. // Niclas.
Will we ever find out who tricked you into making that damn salad? And if so, will we see the culinary vengeance that you will no doubt exact on them? It was most definitely Mr. Fox. // Niclas.
For each of you guys, 1) what's your favourite food? 2) If you haven't yet, would you consider doing a ROSMT video of your favourite food? Secondly, I'm really happy you're back! You have the best Youtube channel ever! 1) Lasagne! 2) It's coming THURSDAY! / Isak.
Do you guys make money on your YouTube channel? Yes, some, from ad revenue. All income goes into making the videos. We dont put anything into our own pockets. // Niclas.
I wanted to try mashing my potatoes in a sliding door, but I don't have one. Any alternatives you can recommend? Try a regular door or an ordinary latch or window.
How many unborn chickens would you estimate you have killed by throwing eggs against the kitchen wall? None hopefully. Chicks don't come from the supermarket!
Can I touch your beard? Niklas.
You guys should come to America and hang out with me I'm bored. Also can I have a shirt? :D. Sure! But not for free :C Link to
1- If my girlfriend forbids me eat mayo, what should i do? You should eat it anyway and see what she does.
2 and not less important- Why you don't bake a pig or something else big screaming? It's regular! Bake a pig? That sounds interesting.
From beginning (thinking an idea) to end (getting it all filmed/edited), how long does it take you guys to do a single episode? All and all and all and all it takes about a week before our break. Now we have a more thought-out schedule we're following, including set days and kitchens for recording so now it's more like a month.
Have you ever been recognized in public? Yes, many many times! // Niclas.
Another thing: I'll probably go to Sweden to find a job, learn swedish and join a Design university next year. Can you become my parents and teach me everything? Niklas.
Are you swedisch enough to come back ... ? No we're Swedish.
Will we ever see Surströmming in a video? Maybe, the thing with surströmming is the smell and if you can't smell it, that's like loosing part of the experience so it's a bit problematic. But we have thought about it.
Will you make something including surströmming?/Kommer ni och laga någonting som innehåller surströmming? We talked about it, and sure we probably will, but its a shame that people cant smell it. ITS THE SMELL (also, I love it) // Niclas.
Vad fan gör du uppe så tidigt!? You gotta do what you gotta do. (work work) // Niclas.
Does lemon juice in your eyes make you see better? Sadly, no.
What have you guys been doing all this time when you were not recording videos? Working, finishing school, just having a good time. What have you been up to?
Studying, working and waiting. Swedish answer: Harnessing power // Niclas.
Hey Guys! Glad you're back! What is the Least Regular Ordinary Swedish thing about filming your videos? The scenes when there are no mayo present. I mean what the shit? // Niclas.
Apart from mayo, is there some pre-dinner snack you could recommend? Ketchup was legit in the first 2 episodes, so it totally qualifies. Going on a rampage or raid is also okay. // Niclas.
I really like Niclas's cap. It's really good for him. What kind of cap is it? I think its a New Era cap! / Niclas.
I've always wondered... Just where did Mr Fox get that gun in Fearsome Flying Jacob episode? Ps. So fucking glad you guys are back! HACKA LÖKEN. Who. Fuckings. Knows. // Niclas.
Last updated: 2014-04-05 13:00 UTC
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2012.08.09 05:54 tabledresser [Table] IAmA norwegian police officer AMA

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Date: 2012-08-08
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Questions Answers
Do you have long black hair and listen to Death Metal? I did, actually. Not anymore though. Didn´t look to good and kept me a virgin for some years.
Hahahahahaha good one what,s your favorite band ? Metallica had me for a good couple of years, before it got harder. Don´t remember a lot of band names, sorry. But it´s mostly radio now. I´m a pathetic sell-out.
What is the most often committed crime in Norway? Hard for me to says as i am not a leader, but from street level you see a lot of shoplifting, drug related crime, break-ins, and weekend tomfoolery. Norwegians tend to drink way too much, and i alwys swear not to drink too much to myself. But i forget...
Come to Finland, we'll see who drinks too much. Don´t enter contests i know i wont´t win. I´d love to come visit, but i´d only lose. The farther north you get, the better people are at drinking it seems.
I wish to visit Norway within a couple of years either by car or motorcycle, these questions might help me save some money ;) Do come over!
Are the speeding tickets expensive in Norway? In NL I had to pay €93 for 9 km/h over the limit on the highway in comparison. First of all, bring extra money for food as a road side diner will set you back about 30usd for a steak. And then there´s the drinks (don´t drink and drive by the way).
What kind of speed checks are actively used and how common are these used (laser guns? speeding camera's?) Speeding is excessively expensive over here. (I don´t work traffic and i don´t have a lot of interest in it, and as i tend not to ticket people for things i do myself). But it can go as high as 1000eur for tickets (and propably more) before you loose your license. And if you do several things at once, it gets piled on top. IE if you run a red light and speeding while doing it it would be 4000nok+2000nok (biggest fine first, then half of every ticket after that gets added on).
What's the biggest fine you've had to write so far and what crime was it for? I would worry about lasers and civilian cars. Civilian cars most have video now, but some only do an average check (distance:time)-(good margin of error safety). If you get clocked at, say, 70 in a 50 zone in an average check you probably were doing about 80-85 on your speedometer.
Thanks for the IAMA, very interesting so far :) I think i crossed the 10000nok marker on a guy who was driving well above limit in a bus lane in rush hour. Those arrogant guys pisses me off privately and its actually three offenses, not two (driving in bus lane, speeding, passing on the right hand side (not legal fyi)). Felt good cause he was actually an arrognt bastard with a VERY important life and a Mazda MX5.
How was it to work on that day last summer when Breivik did what he did? What did you do that day? How was the feeling among the colleagues? It was a very sad day. Interrupted my vacation and drove in. Cant really say what i did that day specifically as i could be identified. But i did guard duty for the first 24 hours. Oslo centre has never been so quiet. Eery. And in the aftermath of things i´ve done my best to stay off the case. I want as little to do with that man as possible, although it might had been a good career move to do otherwise. Edit: Among colleagues there were a lot of rumors, two guys arrested and so forth (not fourth!). We usually have a pretty laid- back attitude to things and joke around. This did not happen a lot 22.07.12.
How do you view marijuana as a substance being on the enforcing side of the law? Everyone knows it is way less harmful for you than drinking but yet it is is still globally scrutinized. With the way things are moving here in Canada and around the US, I believe legalization is the way forward. Hell, the entire war on drugs has failed, what do you think? This is a question i face almost every day doing what i do. As an official i have to say no, but my experience have taught me to not see everything in black and white. This might be a long one... I´ve grown up around a lot of people doing way too much weed/ hash and seen what this drug can do to you. On the other hand, anyone drinking 6-12 beers every day would be in a similar or worse state, so in this context its not much worse. But cannabis does impact your psyche in a somewhat different manner than alcohol. I´ve had friends with shotguns in their mouths because of this. But not everyone ends up this way. I think drug use, especially at a young age is harmful, but more a symptom of a problem then the problem itself. But the route from soft drugs to hard drugs is sometimes very short. What i see the most of is weed-to-pills and weed-to-coke. But if you´re 16 and doing coke, something might be seriously wrong in your home or a lack of this. I think we could try prescribing weed and heroin, but not to people under 18. I think the war is failing, there will always be supply, but we can do something about demand. But thats also a political thing. Sorry if i come across confused. I sometimes am.
I´ve had friends with shotguns in their mouths because of this. Not because of cannabis no, must have been either a mental condition or additional drugs used. Cannabis alone do not have any such impact on your psyche! It seems to me it can be a trigger in some cases. Underlying mental diseases and the likes. But i´m no doctor and i knew this guy well. Nothing else then cannabis, but way too much. Can´t prove it, but i believe him. Your choice if you´ll believe me. Moderation, man.
What I meant was that people won't get in the situation to buy awful shit as often when you legalise the less-awful shit and sell it properly. Sell it like a bar and have the "bartendeweedtender" pay attention that you don't buy too much and go out stoned out of your ass. ABout the rohypnol, are you sure those people don't use anything anymore? Maybe they were taking rohypnol because it was easier or whatever. Or on the black market and hide it because it's now illegal? Rohypnol got replaced with other pills. And we tend to find something of everything thats out there. So when i say they´re gone, i think they´re gone. And i like the idea of supervised, controlled substance use, but in my mind it´s utopia. Look how drunk we get in bars, and they´re supposed to limit our drinking. I don´t think we have the self control.
Have you met police officers from other countries with different approaches to law enforcement or levels of crime? Are they different types of people? Yes i have been to the US and spent some time with brothers there. We do have something of a common mentality, but how work is done is so different. I never expect the next guy to stab or shoot me, and i think we´re a lot less paranoid here in Norway. But i always try to stay safe for me, my family and my partner(s). But if you´re caught doing something here, the sentence won´t be too long and i think that makes criminals a lot less desperate. I like to think we dont have as much corruption as other countries as we do get an ok paycheck.
"But if you´re caught doing something here, the sentence won´t be too long and i think that makes criminals a lot less desperate" Although im norwegian myself, I think that is a very good point. Upvote to you sir!
So you consider them as brothers? In the US there is a common perceptionthat the " cop blue wall" will do whatever they need to(legal or not), to protect themselves and each other. Does this eixst with you? We do have that sense of camaraderie, but being from Norway we always turn things down a couple of notches. Honesty is better then dishonesty. I myself have been to Internal Affairs several times, both as a suspect and a witness. Lying won´t get you nowhere. Be honest and the truth will do the rest. We get a lot of crazy/ psychiatric people reporting us for the strangest things. Not all crazy though.
As a Norwegian living in the US, I am pretty horrified by US police and their lack of education. Most go through a 10-12 weeks training before they are turned loose on the population. Can you tell us what you had to go through of education and training in order to become a police officer? Our training differs immensely. We go to school for 3 years (law, language, computers, sociology, CSI, PE, Arrest techniques. We only do about 6 weeks of weapons training in camps. We also have a pretty good selection program before you get into the academy.
Have you been out looking for Sigrid Giskegjerde Schjetne? I live at Skullerud, just moved here from the middle of Oslo. Creepy welcome to the neighborhood :( We've been working hard at this ever since saturday. Were really trying our best, but the amount of volunteers showing up is mindblowing and very a great example of what makes norway a good place to live. But sometimes creepy, yes :-( Edit. Since sunday morning. Days keep blending these days and ita been a long one 2day.
I'm guessing you are of the same opinion as me, she's dead. I'm guessing it was premeditated (not the target but the event it self) and seeing as no evidence of the perp after all the police and volunteers he's planned somewhat and is intelligent enough not to panic or screw up (yet at least). Well no one knows. Except the one(s) who did it. Everything seems a bit "bad", but people can survive the most incredible things. Hope she´s alive but sadly, hope is fading..
Thing is, statistically if an obductee os not found withint 48 hours the chance of the person being alive is extremely slim. So guess we have to hope the kidnapper(s) are traffickers instead... Ouch lets not hope either. Statistics arent my strong side. But logic doesn´t give me hope.
South African here... Aren't you bored with the lack of real crime in your country? Closest I came to a "civilised" world was Denmark & Sweden. Then you´d be blown away with Norway! Even less here.. Apart from last year we had as many murders as you do in a day. And a lot of them get solved (sadly not all though). The carzy thing is we do have a lot of weapons here per capita. I´d love to come visit just to get some perspective the other way ´round. I think all norwegians should count themselves lucky we´ve got oil and good friends. Not drink it all away and behave as we´re better than y´all.
From Vikings to the most peaceful people in the world. WTF. Evolution? I´m gonna get blasted by some Ricky Gervais motherfucka for that one.
Apart from last year we had as many murders as you do in a day. What seems to be the profile of those cases? gang violence? passion crimes? Some gang related, but the bulk seems to be domestic and/ or family. Knives for the most part. I don't like knives. But i´m no murder analyst...
What do you think about the stories you hear about American law enforcement? Some of the stories are too hard to believe. But then i see the video tape. But that being said, it seems a lot is taken out of context. If you get creative following me around for a day, i´m sure i´d look like a proper asshole. Not that i´m the best cop there is.. I´m not.
Do you ever get to carry a gun? Yes i do. We each have our own personal hk p30L 9mm. Pretty good actually. Spoken as a glock fan. Edit. Dont carry it around. Locked down in car and brought out for special occasions.
Special occasion? Cans - yes Moose - seen one once and never dared look back. They are pretty damn big.
Shooting cans and mooseS? But on a serious note, special calls and assignments require us to wear one, but for our own safety as well as the publics. I personally dont want to wear one all the time.
I just want to say I'm so happy that police don't carry around guns constantly around in the streets, I've been to other countries and I just feel so uneasy when there's police or military police with guns or automatics :S. Glad you feel this way. Although i think it´s only a matter of a few years before we also do, this being an international world and travelling criminals are making it big. We´re not alone anymore.
Here in the US and Canada virtually all departments either issue a 12 gauge or assault rife for the cruiser. Does your department? Also, what car do you use? Not all, but some. wont say too mach on this.
A guy breaks into your house but, you don't have a gun. How are you going to shoot him? Checkmate. If he has a gun, surprise him, take his gun and explain to him what he did wrong. Norwegian style.
To an american that sounds crazzy. even here in australia police carry guns around :S why wouldnt you :S. Top on my list is: don´t want to lose a fight and risk getting it pointed back at me. We really don´t come across that much that needs a weapon to be solved. You´d be surprised at how far talking could get you. A weapon on the hip would just come across as "offensive" to a lot of people up here i think. I´d like a tazer though. Just for work.
You scurred of Bullwinkle? I get the comic reference, but not much more. Only had nrk (government channel) growing up. Different times. Make an LA Law joke and i´ll jump on the grenade!
So it's like like the armed offenders unit in the UK... What type of vehicle do you use? Ment much, not mach before. Going a bit fast here for a non scholar. We´ve got units for most things yes. Some heavy duty guys capable of most things. And vehicles, patrol - MB Vitos (good for transports), Volvo V70 and VW Passat (better and fast movers), and then there´s older, crappier, newer, specialized ones and so on. But these three are the most common ones.
After seeing a a guy get tazered, I think I would rather get shot. I saw a guy get tazered during a riot; he shit himself, and was foaming from the mouth by the time he gave up. Oh man, i really want to test a tazer on myself just to see how bad it really is. I´d pick shit in my pants over hole in my stomach anyday!
Link to That´ll scare me yes. they´re tall enough on all four feet.
As a civilian, I'm scared to death of those (undercover) Passats. And maybe you should be :-) Keep checking that mirror for hints of blue..!
I've been around guns my entire life (American; Avid Hunter) and I think I would take a pistol round any day over a tazer. That's just me though... If I had to choose between buck shot and a tazer... I think I'd take shitting my pants as well. If were talking about .22cal to the hind i might consider it. Just for bragging rights.
Is this a colleague you happen to know? :) Also, if you would be kind enough to share, were you on patrol the day of the bombings/shooting in Oslo and Utøya? Did your life get turned upside down in that moment? If you weren't on patrol/can't canswer; How has the political climate in Norway fared as a result of that incident? Don´t know the guy but i´d taken a photo for myself before telling him! Punkd (ohh im getting old). I was on vacation like many others and rushed in to Oslo to do what i could. Not as much "turned" as "twisted". I had believed we would get hit someday, but not like this. Guess i was a little influenced by the media and society as well. As of climate and changes, seems to me like much is the same, though people in general tend to call in on a lot more suspicious activity. I dont think it´s abad thing, but paranoia should have it´s limits. But keep calling in! Do call 10 times more than you should then 1 time too little! Unless you´re a mental pacient with paranoid diagnosis. Please call your doctor first.
I'm a foreigner in norway, and I heard that if the police entered an armed war ( as in war with guns ) you can't use your guns unless you call the station for permission. Is this right? or was I being trolled :) No troll. But there is a chain of order. If we´ve got time, we ask for permission from our police chief. BUt if some Johnny pulls out his gun in front of my car, i aint gonna call nobody, and thats ok.
Do your soccer referees always do such a bad job? signed, A Canadian. Always. but i´m no soccer fan, thanks to our judges.
Were you at all involved in the investigation of the 2011 shootings? Know any victims? Thanks. Did some Oslo guard duty in the aftermath. I knew Trond, the police officer. If he couldn´t stop him, no one could. Very suspicious guy and ex-boxer. Old school. RIP.
That must have been hard, I'm sorry. I heard he saved his son from the gunfire, at the cost of his own life. Courageous, too, apparently. Very. All my respect to my fallen friend.
I'm Finnish. Can we be bros? Also, what do Norwegians think of our dear neighbour Sweden? I've visited Northern Norway twice, absolutely beautiful and a great place to go fishing! Bros before ho´s. I think we all think that swedes are superior to us in style, hair and innovation. But we do have oil so why bother? And the fishing (i hear) is the best. I only started eating fish some years ago. Sushi goes down fast now!
In Finland there is ALWAYS some kind of rivalry... It's stupid but funny in a weird way. Same here, especially in the force. Good for results. As long as no-one goes overboard :-)
Do you ever do anything that is against the law? Not talking about confessing murders here, but small crimes, like copying a car from the internet-type of stuff. Hahaha I plead the fifth.
I will assume thats a solid yes ;) Assume away. I´m pullin a Chapelle on this one.
I mean, I assume it's not called "pleading the Fifth," but in Norway do you have the right to decline to testify so as not to incriminate yourself? Related: Has a drunken tourist ever asked you to read them their Miranda rights? Well we do get some random Americans and/ or movie geeks who tells us we should mirandize them. But those who know the name, surely must know the game!? But, yeah, a couple of years ago we actually started giving everyone their rights when arrested. It SHOULD be done, but sometimes people forget, and before interrogation you get everything read out to you.
Have you ever watched the TV show cops? What do you think of it? Love it!! They act tough and deliver. A bit hands- on for my approach sometimes but people don´t want to lose in front og a camera i guess. I´m a bit baffled at how little communication goes on sometimes. How do they get information from people they don´t talk to and only fight with.
I´m a bit baffled at how little communication goes on sometimes. How do they get information from people they don´t talk to and only fight with. < You are probably referring to the LAPD... assault first, ask questions later! Probably..
I think I saw a video where the Norweigan? police looked at a couple giving a public blowjob? Is that what you guys do? Do you guys encounter this a lot? Is Norway's sexual "culture" (more accepted? perhaps?) different than Canadian's/ North Americans? Are there more public nudity/ more sex crimes? I think that one was finnish. Couldn´t load the subs so didn´t get it all. But they seemed like good police. Not so many "fun" nudes, more of the obese, alcoholic, stinking, perv nudes. Not so fun while there, but fun when your car is clean again and a good story has risen!
I'm from Denmark, so I reckon that the "Scandinavian" police might have quite a bit in common. What's your opinion on that f.ex. a 16 year old child, who rides a tuned moped (Lets say it does around 50), can get a 2000 DKK fine, when a full-grown man who does 200 km/h on a highway gets a quite similar fine? It´s not in proportion. But 200kmh here would get you jail time. Kids need to be treated differently then adults. Respect and lenience are two key words.
Are the Norwegian girls as hot as they seem to the rest of the world? Nodout. i´ve got me one so i´m happy :-) hope she is as well..
As said, not going to do it, got no reason to run :) I´m glad. Don´t be a statistic! :-)
Any gypsy stories? You wont believe it until you´ve smelled it. A lot can be said, but they are people, but not used to behave like us is some ways. Porta-pottys for instance. They dont shit in the hole for some reason.
Were you called when the massacre happened on the island of Utøya? Not called, i called in.
Since cop shows are huge over here in america, what would you say is the craziest stereotypes of cops in Norway vs the ones in the USA ? Hmmm... People don´t let me in on the stereotypes, guess it comes mostly behind my back. But lazy-no-good-doing-coffee-drinking-mustache-wearing-powerhouses are a thing of the past. Luckily. It´s a whole new breed now from 15 years ago. Those days where you beat and submissed into coercion are well and over with. I hope.
Do you look like this? A bit more same-ish and have you seen jompa btw?
Actually saw him at the airport once, if I'm not horrible mistaken. (Could been someone looking like him, thou) And now he´s gone...
Why are you guys not putting the RUSS in jail for me? I got egged and mad! This is why i stay inside during may. And i don´t do overtime in may. Girls wanna kiss us so bad. And guys. Not that theres anything wrong with that!
Hehe, just realized I wanna be a cop, they wanna kiss you. giggles If you can take the abuse, go for it!
What is your favorite thing about Norway? Something you think Norway is best in the world for. Nature, forgiveness and community. Thats three, i know :-)
I think it's only when "the bad guy" is reported to have weapons themselves. Correct? That might be one. But not the only one.
Everyone I ask has a different answer. I always like to have my swiss army knife with me. I never go a day without using it, whether I am working or not. In the UK the law is very clear: unless you have a reason (job, hobby etc.) you can only carry a knife 3 inches long or below, that folds away and does not lock. Anything else needs a reason. I seem to remember being a kid and a boyscout and knives were no big deal (this was not the city though). Can I be fined/arrested for a swiss army knife or Leatherman? If you have beliveable cause. IE being a boyscout in uniform, being a carpenter, being on your way to do something that requires a knife. If you´re wearing a Leatherman in your belt, doing normal things and being a normal person, you could probably convince ME to not arrest you. But if you´re out on the town, drinking and in Oslo centre, you´d have a hard time convincing me. The size of the blade is not as important. It could be a nail clipper. If you stab someone with it, you´ll get charged with carrying a knifelike object, and its the same.
Takk for svar. I would not walk around the city with it (though I would have, out of ignorance, had I not checked on the web in case there were laws, turns out there were). It goes without saying stabbing someone is illegal and will cause an arrest, but don't you think it's a bit extreme arresting someone who might be walking in the park with their Leatherman in a pouch on their belt? Has it always been this way? Park+Leatherman+normal guy. Wouldn´t even ask you about the Leatherman. Just talk and talk. You´d get sick of me in 10mins :-)
I figured that mostly. When we've had stabbings and people "saying they have guns and bullets" (only had a bullet..) you've been here pretty quickly. It's just that it seems we're sitting on druggies for 2 hours and then got to send them away. It's a bit weird :p. Yes but you see the difference, right?
If you´re lying on top af a drug dealer with cuffs on it´s an unconveniece and a hassle.
If someone´s pulling knives and guns out, we´ll drop everything else!
But consider what other missions goes down on our lists if people lie like this. Someone might be beaten in their home, or killed by a drunk driver we could´ve caught...
Indeed. The norwegian police is way understaffed. Aren't you guys also mostly active during weekdays, and not weekend-evenings where most of the shit hit the fans aswell? Seems to me like we´re best staffed on weekdays and in the daytime. But then again, i am not punching the time sheets. ALLTHOUGH - we do have money for overtime on weekends and we are a lot more officers out now than, say, 3 years ago.
Does anyone ever try to bribe you? Nope. Guess i don´t look like the bribeing type of guy. People have with others though. They didn´t get away with it.
Have you ever arrested a member of a black metal band for burning down a church, stabbing someone repeatedly, or for committing any other true kvlt crimes? No but i saw the burnt down church. I´m not yet too old for this shit.
Since one of the major cultural exports of Norway is Satanic Black Metal, do you have to deal with blasphemy often? Have you heard of Varg Vikernes? What are your views on Satanism? Varg Vikernes is a sad, disillusioned man living i recluse on a farm writing books now. Blasphemy is not a big thing over here. Church and state got separated some years ago, and most norwegians are ok with that. If you are a satanist and don´t bother others that´s ok with me. Stabbing people repeatedly is not.
How much gun training have your received as a police officer? Do you feel that it is enough or did you wish there was more? Much want more. We´re getting better, but also, training more means fewer of us on the streets (instructors and being off training). Constant dilemma.
What do you call yourselves Norweagians? Grammar? Norwegians.
Did the Utoya shooting affect your job in any way? This could be from higher up (like changes in policies) or personal (want to do the job more/less). Do you believe in the Norwegian justice system (no life sentences)? It made a huge impact. On all levels. The commission set to investigate our response will deliver its report on monday. We are all awaiting the conclusion(s) and i am sure there are a lot of things that could have been done better. But we did what we could without knowing what to expect. The media have gotten some things wrong. But i don´t know too much about everything that happened, most is just rumors at this stage. I´m very motivated to prevent things like this to happen again. We have to take care of everyone before they turn into monsters. The justice system here is close to foolproof in my eyes, but life sentence without parole should be a real alternative, not just a theory, as it is now (21years with option to extend). Some people just don´t belong in society. ABB being one of them.
What's better Norse Mythology or Greco-Roman? Oh, man. I didn´t go to history high and i slept through college.
So what do you think about crime dramas like: The Killing, Beck, Wallander, Varg Veum etc? Killing, Beck, Wallander - haven´t seen much of it. Varg Veum - how come these cases doesn´t get solved by the police? Man we are incompetent! PI get all the clues, and we none! The Wire though, gotta love it! Realistic as hells.
Varg Veum is not bad but I thought Forbrydelsen, Beck and Wallander were really good. Was going to ask if you were like Gunvald Larsson in Beck ;-) Link to Takk. Haha You had me at "i fuck your wife every day". Priceless.
SO.. What station in Oslo are you situated at? Sentrum? Manglerud? An other? I would say, but won´t. Our worlds not that big. But its one of the biggest.
OK. But answer me this: What kind of duty do you normally do? I can say street level, but not "on the beat". I´ve grown tired of that part. I will get in trouble if someone sees some of my answers and finds out who i am. But i can satisfy any other curiosities you might have...?
Jeg er bare nyskjerrig ;) Only wondering because I know a lot of Oslo cops, most on op-central, though :D. Det er lov :-) (it´s allowed) Cops are always nice to know! Most times :-)
Do you really hate crime and offenders, or you're working in police only for money? None of the above sir!
Every crime has an offender, but every offender has his reasons (not all sane but..). Something that seems unbelievable at the time, might seem understandable given some insight (fyi I'm glad google autocorrect is with me today). But the exception here being 22.07.12 and terror in general. But then again i guess they have their own logic and "reason", and maybe not the best of families. We´re very left-ish up here. But politics is NOT my game! I just do what they say, and then moderate it a bit ;-)
Hei og takk for at du gjør en AMA! Var du på vakt under 22. Juli i Oslo? Hvordan opplever du tryggheten i Oslo som politimann, føler du deg trygg på jobb der? Hva er din verste opplevelse på vakt? Kjempe takk for at du gjør en AMA, hilsen en felles nordmann! Tror jeg har svart på denne under. 22 juli topper nok værste-dag listen. Og takk!
What's the marijuana situation like in Norway? I was reading that there has been talk about decriminalizing? What are your thoughts, as a police officer? I think i covered this in another post. Repost me if you want something more :-)
Do you smoke weed everyday? No mr president.
Hva synes du om Harry Hole? Stereotype number one, but a good guy with good skills. Love the books, haven´t read the last one sadly.
But seriously, what kind of research into Norwegian policing did Jo Nesbø actually do before writing the books? Have no idea. But he isn´t too far off the chart. So i guess he has do a good deal.
Nå, jeg ville bare øve mitt norsk litt. Nå, jeg ville bare øve på norsken min litt. You stand corrected. But my english is poorer then your norwegian so...
Last updated: 2012-08-12 22:05 UTC
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2012.04.10 04:13 tabledresser [Table] IAMA bouncer in sweden, AMA

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Date: 2012-04-09
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Questions Answers
Do you have a clothing/shoes policy? Do you let everybody in, or do you try to avoid certain crowd? What can a guy (solo) say to avoid the line and get in immediatly? How about a girl? And a large group? I always slip the bouncer €5 when I leave, is that acceptable/normal/expected in sweden? In sweden the bouncers work for the police and they have therefore decided that we should also wear the same uniform starting from December 1'st 2012. The colour will be slightly different, otherwise it is the same uniform. Yes if the age is right and the person is not to drunk i will always let you in. I don't like avoiding any crowds, but i can keep an extra eye on some people who i know may cause troubles. Nobody cuts in line, thats one of my main rules (except for friends ofc). Giving us money is considered a bribe in sweden and the guard could press charges, eventhough nobody in their right mind would to it.
Are bouncers in sweden big douches like the ones in UK? sorry not today lads! We have alot of assholes too. I have myself been rejected from many clubs because im not ethnically swedish, reason being im to drunk when I still hadn't started drinkink. I try my best not to be one of these guys and give everyone an honest chanse. If u can stand on ur own legs and have the right age, I will never argue, doesn't matter if ur black, white or a smurf.
If you could urinate one liquid without anatomical difficulty, what would it be and why? Probably red bull, because it would be awesome.
Are you totally hot because I have a thing for Swedes? Yes. I concider myslef a sexy motherfucker.
Bouncer as in Ordningsvakt? Yes bouncer as in Ordningsvakt.
In that case let me be the first to ask you about your most awesome experience. And the worst one. The most awesome experience must have been when me and my collegue got jumped by four guys about my size (185 cm). This resultet in a huge fight where we had to literally fight for our lives. No its not that i like to fight, but the thing that made me proud was the fact that we didnt get hurt because our experience and that we always had eachothers backs. The 4 guys got their asses whopped and got arrested and sent to jail.
My worst experience must have been when a girl got some pill in her drink, most likely rohyphenol (roofie). The girl got a weird reaction and we had to do CPR on her for 20 minutes until the ambulance arrived. Turns out it was an allergic reaction. Worst 20 minutes of my life.
Last time i was in sweden i went out there for the first time and saw people looking like they belonged to the police and they had "ordningsvakt" written on their jackets. in germany we have the "Ordnungsamt", they give you tickets for parking and that kind of crap and i was so confused what they were doing inside a bar. Is the ordningsvakt something official run by the state or a union of bouncers? Its not like in germany, we work for the state, we work for the police department.
Did she survive? Yes, she survived and is back to normal.
How do you "apply" for such a job? Did you search for it, or a friend hooked you up? You apply at the police department, if you are accepted you will go a course and get your badge. I got mine in the army.
Where in sweden do you work? I work in Malmoe, it's in south Sweden, aka the ''ghetto'' of sweden.
040 represent. :) Fuck yeah!
Where do you work? if you don't feel comfortable telling the exact location, in what city and in what kind of nightclub do you work? I know someone who worked as a bouncer in a soccer team's bar and he was a fan of that teams rival. He wasn't exactly strong but he weighed alot and looked like someone you wouldn't even be able to tip over with a cannon. Do they still hire these kind of guys or do you need to be physically fit now? I work in several nightclubs/bars in Malmoe. The difference is that we have the rights to, if necessary, use violence to take someone out of the bar or arrest the person, we have many of the rights that policemen have. We also have the rights to use handcuffs and batons.
I've never been to a bar here in Sweden yet but I'm genuinely interested. We have physical tests in sweden nowadays, not very tough but a 350 pound guy would never become a bouncer in sweden these days.
But isn't it just a 2 week course? Do you have the same rights as a Ordningvakt in the subway? Its a 3 week course. 90% of the c ourse is laws and human rights. Yes i have the same rights as I'm an Ordningsvakt too.
How would you generalize the type of people you see the most? are they stuck up assholes, gaudy miami types, Boston hard-asses(my area), docile? That depends on where I work, but the ones we see the most are the stuck up assholes who get to drunk and think that they know everything.
Are you one of the bouncers that fought Bas Rutten? :D. No i have never fought Bas Rutten, has this actually happened?
What do you do to keep your fitness/ general badassery up? I have tried all kinds of martial arts, but non of these are very useful IRL. Right now im focusing mostly on the gym and my old krav maga techniques.
Have you worked as bouncer in other swedish towns. If yes what can you say is the biggest difference between them? Yes I have, in ceveral towns. My town is the third biggest in Sweden, so people here are city people. When you get out and work 1 hour from here there are huge diffrences, you get to meet the Swedish version of rednecks. I have never worked in a place full of rednecks without having to call botch ambulance and police, and get in big fights because they dont know how much alocohol their bodies can take.
Is the "ghetto" mostly foreigners or other Swedes? I havent been to Malmo. Only Gothenburg and Stockholm. I was with some people out in the suburbs of Gothenburg, and it was a pretty big muslim neighborhood and they thought it was pretty dangerous. Malmoe has more Swedes living in it but we have alot of foreigners, I myself am a foreigner. I was raised in Swedens ''most dangerous ghetto''. I lived there for 15 years, and was never afraid of anything there. We have a problem with media, they love making everything big. Where I was raised i think the population is 85% foreigners because the goverment pushed them in there. Many people have problems with the language and education. I still belive that you can acchive whatever you want, I speak better swedish than most of my swedish friends eventhough I was raised there.
TIL Sweden has a "most dangerous ghetto" I assume that term is relative though right? Sort of like saying "Most Dangerous Gated Community in Florida" No actually in Malmoe we had like 7 murders in 2 months, and that isn't normal for a city with 300 000 people.
Have you also been kidnapping and torturing guests in the club basement? No I have not, but I am very aware of these beatings.
You say you work in malmo...Did you feel the extra pressure when all the shootings were happening around NYE? And if you can say, what area did you work in? I was actually working NYE when it happened, and I was never really worried. If you don't get involved in shit, chanses are very small that something will happend to you. I worked in all of Malmoe during the shootings, probobly Möllevången the most.
Whats the pay? Is the paper trail long before you can work as a bouncer? (say in uk you have to get certified) The pay depends on where you work, but its somewhere around 700-1000 swedish crones for 4 hours work, that between 60-90 pounds. And yes it takes a couple of months.
Anybody tried to sneak in anything excessively weird, like animals or anything? What's the weirdest thing you've seen happen? Yeah, one girl dropped her big ass dildo in front of me when she was trying to get her ID, she picked it up and went home instead.
Hi! My sister is newly-married and living in Gothenberg (spelling?) and she's had a few interesting anecdotes to share. She says it's common for upper-class people in Stockholm to enter a night club / bar and order 2 bottles of the most expensive champagne. They then proceed to pour one out on the ground, and only drink the second. From my sister's description, this seemed to be a way for rich... Stockholmians (?)... to flaunt their wealth. Is there any truth to this? Yes, this is infact very true, it's now illegal to spray chapagne all over the dancefloor so this is how they do it in sweden. They buy bottles that cost up to 300 000 swedish crowns (50 000 USD) just to throw them away.
Bouncers in Sweden have a pretty bad reputation for beating up people up arbitrarily and getting away with it. This actually used to be listed as a travel warning on wikitravel. This happened to a friend of mine. He argued with some bouncers (completely non-violently). They dragged him away, beat him up and got away with it. There wasn't even an investigation. Thoughts? This used to be a bigger problem before, the police have taken away alot of badges these lasts years so that these problems eventually go away. I think that we will always have this problem, but I sure hope that it gets smaller.
Are clubs in Sweden like the ones in Denmark? Not really, I would say people have more fun in Denmark.
IAMA "bouncer" in a busy bar in college town, USA. I deal with some of the worst meth heads, coked out whores, and drunk assholes in general. Sometimes I wonder if, when it comes my turn to get stabbed or jumped, is the barely above minimum wage worth it? Being a bouncer here is nothing like what you do, although I do have military background. How much do you make each hour, OP? I make somewhere around 25USD an hour on a friday/saturday night. No money is never worth your life, but I try not to get involved in to much shit.
How does a un-normal day look for you? Spybar? Göteborg? Fest? An un-normal day would be a day where everybody is nice to me.
A little off topic but I am going to Sweden for school in August and wanted to ask someone a couple of things: How do swedes like Canadians? What Telecom operator do you recommend? What bank do you recommend? I've been to Canada, and I loved it so you have one new friend now! I would reccomend Tele2/Comviq, most people have it, making it cheapest. I would recommend Swedbank, Nordea, SEB, these are our biggest banks.
If you could witness any historical event, which would it be and why? I would love to know how they built the pyramids.
I read that if a cop suspects you of being stoned they can make you take a drug test and charge you if it comes back positive. is this true? are most swedes really that against marijuana? Yes that is true, but most people have stopped caring about marijuana now, they are going f or the other drugs instead.
I'm going to Sweden for my honeymoon in June. We've never been and have no idea what to do. Where should we go? Half the reason to go is to find live music to listen to, she's nuts about Swedish pop music. We have alot of small concerts in Malmoe and Lund with local bands, but if your looking for something bigger i would say the festivals that we have all around the country. You can google them. Here are some examples. Sweden rock Peace and love Siesta Hultsfred etc.
To what level is there criminal activity and corruption within the bouncer community? Tough question, we have alot of bouncers who are involved in criminal affairs but they have never been sentenced, they are not allowed to work as bouncers if they are.
Best part about your job? The money.. No I would actually say the chanse to meet all these different kinds of people. And the money too.
So, i visited when i was 19, and got ID'd for entry to a bar, but my passport was safe in my friends house so i wouldn't lose it. When i explained, the bouncer was like "Oh you're from liverpool? go right in!" The main question here is, what's the laws on drinking ages n such and is there leeway? We decide ourselfs if we think it is necessary to check the ID of the person. If you look old enough we can let you in, but it's our responsibility, if the police does a check-up and see that you are 17, we will probably get bent over.
What's the funniest thing a guest has replied when you give them that stern look and ask "and how much have we been drinking tonight, sir?" ''Not enough to make you look good'' happened to my collegue infront of me, laughed my ass off.
Who makes you the most trouble? Over here in Germany it's probably the muslim immigrants. No evening without them starting some problems. It used to be like germany, now its actually the spoiled swedish brats.
Do you deal with many American tourists? If so, what is your overall attitude towards them based on your previous experiences? Sometimes we have them, and their usually pretty calm compared to the europeans. Espesially people from france and spain, they are pretty cocky.
If someone from another country wants to enter the bar you work at and shows you an ID from his country, do you usually search for the birthdate on the card or do you prefer not losing your time and letting him enter if he looks old enough? I search for the date of birth, I know how most of the ID's look now.
Hi I also live in skane and I was wondering, have you been working during "valborgsmässoafton", how bad is it? and how often do you find people underage drinking during this night/in general? I havn't but I will work this valborg. Det heter Scania på engelska bara så att du vet!
As a Swede and someone who sometimes needs to use the sweet science in his job, are you excited for the UFC debut in Sweden? I am always excited for UFC, but I actually didn't know that there was going to be a debut in Sweden.
Q1. Are most Swedish bouncers familiar with the Bas Rutten incident ? (Spy Bar, 1998). Q2. Did they learn anything from it ? Maybe the bouncers that are older than me.
Whats the craziest thing someone has done after you refused them entry? Banging his head to the wall untill he started to bleed, and then called the police and told them that I asaulted him, there were like 10 people filming him.
If it is an exclusive party, how much do I need to bribe you with to get in? I don't take bribes, as long as you have the right age and are not too drunk your always welcome.
Are you male or female? I am a male.
Hey, my cousin lives in Denmark, and he was telling me that the bouncers there typically don't allow too many people of colour into the clubs unless they're tourists because the owners of the clubs tell them not to. Have you ever been told to do this? Yes I have been told a couple of times, I let everyone in and quit that job after that night.
Do Americans have a bad rep as club-goers? No like I said before, normally we get pretty calm americans.
Are the women in Sweden really as good looking as legend tells? Depends on what you like, but no not like in the movies.
Do you only let adults in, or minors too? Only adults, never minors. We have pretty strict laws.
I will be visiting Sweden this summer (Stockholm to Copenhagen, seeing distant relatives in between with my 20 y-o cousin and my grandmother). What can we not afford to miss on this trip? You will see everything you need in Copenhagen.
Is your position as a bouncer a big hit with the ladies? Sometimes it is, sometimes they hate us.
Please tell me Americans aren't the most disruptive and disrespectful drunks you have to kick out on a regular basis. If not, which nationality are you having to 86 most often? No its the french and spanish people.
My parents live in Göteborg so I've been to a lot of clubs there. They all seem to be pretty easy going. How different is it where you live the "ghetto" ha than a major city? It's the same, I've been to GBG too.
On an average night, how many times would you say you get flashed? Flashed, as in tittie flashed?
You mentioned not being an ethnic Swede. Out of curiosity, where are you originally from? Im originally from Lebanon.
Have you ever accepted a sexual act from a woman to get into the club? No never have, never will.
How is it living in Sweden? It's kind of cold.
Are you Nicklas Lidstrom? No, are you?
Bouncers are racist and asshats everywhere. Unbreak my heart.
Swedish bouncers are the biggest assholes ever. Most are just young guys who are power tripping the shit out of their positions. I hope you work on changing this view because it is very prevalent in Sweden :/ I totally agree with you and I try my best not to be one of these assholes.
Whats your take on the whole imigration problem thingy. People saying that imigrants are fucking stuff up and with SD´s rising popularity. Sweden has got a problem with imigration yes, but SD's soulution is absolotely not a good one. Sweden has gotten these problems bu themselves, by putting tens of thousands non swedish speaking citizens in the same blocks. There were never any integration. Sweden needs to solve its problem before taking in more immigrants yes, but throwing people out of the country wont solve a thing.
Im in the uk and did a AMA as a bouncer of ten years, and unless youv done the job people will never understand how they can be the biggest douuches ever. People have no idea what we are put through every night.
You need to be 18 to drink legally, however clubs can set their own age restrictions higher than that. If you're a pretty girl you can get in pretty much anywhere though. My sister was running around clubs in Stockholm when she was 16. Alot of bouncers like to let these younger girls in, in hope of getting laid, and in many cases they a ctually to get laid.
Last updated: 2012-04-13 21:54 UTC
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